Movie Etiquette

People do not seem to know how to behave in movies. As a fan of the cinematic experience, I don’t want my time ruined by bad behavior. So here are my tips (requirements) for basic etiquette on the part of kids and adults alike (I’m not sure who is worse!)

  • First and foremost, keep your mouth closed (unless eating, if you must). We don’t want to hear what you think of the film.
  • Keep your hands off women. That would be your date unless you are a bit perverse, but try to hold off until you get home.
  • Keep your hands and feet off the seat in front of you. There is nothing more annoying and your shoes probably smell.
  • Do not kick the seat in front of you. I don’t care if you have super long legs.
  • Kids, don’t throw popcorn or candy in the air or at anyone. If you need to practice your aim by tossing some in your mouth, you better be agile or risk some dirty looks.
  • Shut off that darn mobile phone. You don’t have to show stills or videos of the movie as people can get them on line. You don’t have to text anything. Go outside if you are a stubborn mule.
  • It is best to go to the toilet before the movie. It is disruptive if you have to walk in front of people when leaving your seat. Think ahead! If you can’t control yourself, don’t buy a drink until after the show.
  • Self-control is good advice. Your behavior is a reflection of your maturity. Don’t let bad actions give you away.
  • Don’t talk about other people in the theater. Some guys can be mean and defend themselves or their viewing mate with anger and a few swift blows to the chin.
  • Gum chewing is just plain disgusting. Don’t smack your lips or leave your mouth gaping while you do it. Try to be courteous and quiet if you must indulge. Never crack the gum unless you want serious repercussions.
  • Try to get to the movie on time so as not to disturb others. Do not step on the feet of those who did make an effort to get to their seats before the start of the movie.
  • Do not spill food, put gum under the seat, or leave used tissues on the floor. Yes, there is a janitor to clean it up, but why not help out and toss these things in the trash as you leave. Be a good sport!
  • Do not take a small child to an adult film. They squirm when bored or worse yet will run around the theater in circles screaming for attention. Babies are just as bad unless you have drugged yours.
  • If you are at a kids’ movie, let the little ones visit the toilet beforehand so as not to miss a precious moment. They get hung up playing with things in the bathroom like fancy bidet toilets fitted in some movie theaters or shopping centers or talking to other children. This makes those tykes late as a result.

There are probably a few more things I could add, but you get the picture. Try these tips out and find how a better quality movie experience is a welcome relief for you and all those around you in the theater.